and the Sour Taste

I stood on the roof and felt, I mean actually FELT, the wind today. I realized it had been the first time in months that I thought about 'the Insights' and truly allowed myself to enjoy the beauty of my surroundings. I realized this country, though it has many good, heartful people in it, is so imbued with negativity that it is easy to get lost in it. It is easy to look at this place as a post-apocalyptic world where you need to make your personal survival the highest priority. I thought I was better than to allow myself to fall into that trap. I've done all that I can do to not walk the route of gossip and needless disdain that others use as a method of control or personal justification.

I have been lucky enough to meet a kindred spirit of sorts on that subject though. A co-worker who knows what it is to recognize a person for their faults, but also understand that they don't deserve to be hated or talked poorly about without reason. I think him and I might even stay in contact. I never thought I'd have 'an old war buddy' ahahhahahahahahahah

I've been reading a lot of articles about soldiers complaints out here, specifically those who train the Afghan soldiers. And after the SIGAR came out and pretty much said that when the coalition trainers aren't looking the Afghans pretty much just go off and do whatever they want. That's the only thing that makes me sad. Because I know a bunch of Afghans, whom I genuinely call friends, who will be looked upon in the same way. They will be bunched into that 'group', that nationality, and will be considered with the same derision.

After all this time of war and persecution, a huge portion of the population has just lost the will to do anything. And for those that understand the effects that large scale emotional transfer has it makes total sense that all the foreign troops are not usually inspired to have high spirits. Morale is a VERY important commodity out here, so that we can compensate for the drain we feel.  The media isn't helping either. I've seen a lot of demonizing of the Muslim culture and I can say honestly that it just isn't true. I've been told by some translators that they aren't even sure if the Taliban has read the Holy Quran much less see them as Muslim. I'm so sad that ANY Faith has been presecuted this much. There are few things that I respect as much as I respect a powerful Faith in something. For someone to take a faith and twist it to fit their means of controlling others, AND for those who oppose that person to in turn demonize the ENTIRE congregation of that faith, is one of the most evil things I can imagine.

I sincerely hope things turn around here becuase I really do think Afghanistan could once again become a glorious place.

On the other hand, before I came here I had never seen a fly that cleans itself more than it flies.